The details of my life are quite insignificant… very well, where do I begin?
I don’t have an interesting background story or anything extravagant to say like some. My life is pretty normal. I get up, go to college and then come home. As a person who lives in a Pakistani house hold some of you from this culture can understand how sheltered I am. I didn’t know how to get on the bus until I was 16. I don’t know my way around my own town. I don’t have a clue how to get on a train. I’ve always been sheltered and protected. I’ve just always been scared of small things that anyone can do. I’ve been so dependent on other people in the most unhealthy way possible. Living with parents whose main aim was to get you the best education because it wasn’t possible for them, is difficult. Especially with siblings who have achieved the goals my parents wanted. Being average at school just wasn’t good enough in my family.
Do you all remember SATS? The exams we took at Primary School well with a little bit of help (Teachers gave me half of the answers) I received the highest grade in my family compared to my siblings. So which to my parents automatically means I will achieve big things in life. Boy were they wrong. At the end of High School I achieved 15 GCSE’s which is pretty good as most people commonly come out with an average of 7 GCSE’s Qualifications. I succeeded with a mixture of C’s B’s and A’s. I was pretty pleased with it. But I just remember that feeling of coming home and knowing my parents weren’t that pleased for some reason. I didn’t achieve all of my GCSEs at a Grade A. Asian parents regard anything below as average. So after that I was seen as the average child and it doesn’t help with the fact that I have taken a Gap Year after finishing college.
Now you might be confused if you’re not familiar with Pakistani culture, why my parents have a high standard. Don’t worry, I’m planning to do blog posts on that. Now you’re probably thinking “Ehh why are you telling me this?”
Well, I’m just so bored at the moment, I’m bored with what I’m doing in life. I’m So Bored! With all this pressure and weight put on top of my shoulders, I have to admit I have become so exhausted and tired. Do I really want to get up and work and come home. I’ve never taken part in activities or made room for any hobbies I liked. So here I am typing away, hoping that I become somewhat confident or independent and free to do as I please. I’ve always enjoyed writing a diary, I just want to write up my memories and interact with people and share my opinions. I may not have a big story to share, but I do have my views and my rambles. So why am I blogging? Personally, it’s my diary which I know my siblings won’t see. Since all my diaries at home have been looked through. My secrets and my embarrassing stories for me to look back at.
I am not a professional writer, I am not very literate and the amount of words I spell wrong is atrocious, So I tend to make mistakes, but I love that I’m not restricted or limited to any subject. I can literally write about whatever I please.
Why I started blogging? Why not? I love it. I enjoy it. There’s no other reason why.
So I would like to Welcome you to OnceUponAJayJay