No Mum, I don’t understand what you’re saying with your death stares!!

No Mum, I don’t understand what you’re saying with your death stares!!  

I swear to you Desi Mum’s honestly get annoyed at everything. They think every other family is perfect and quiet and never fight. They get easily embarrassed at small things. In my house we can’t talk at the dinner table if a guest is over, no laughing and nothing. Or else we get the “eyes” 

My Mum has her own language going on, it’s the best talent she has ever picked up. It’s a next level language with her eyes. For some reason she thinks I can understand this. I’m serious! I say something that embarrasses her in front of the Fam and her eyes pop out. When a guest comes and I come in with no dupata on my head, she gives me the eyes” I’m there just staring blankly at her because I don’t have a fucking clue why her eyes are popping out of her socket, when she realises that I don’t understand, she doesn’t explain anything she just carries on popping them out even more and then does that screw up face look. And I still don’t understand what she is getting at.

If I’ve done something so “bad” which to Desi Mum’s means not picking up one freaking glass on the table! I would get the “eyes” and that “nod” Which means watch what happens later. And as soon as the guest goes, there’s a list of the things I have done wrong. Its legit anything! it could be me not taking my shoes off in my OWN house, me not using my right hand to shake the guest’s hand, my dupata falling off my head or I was swinging my feet.

The worse thing is that she thinks no one but me see’s these “eyes” like Mum you are not being discreet at all, you look like you are in pain and the guest is literally in front of you!!!! I think calling me out for swinging my legs out loud would be less embarrassing.

I swear these Desi mums have next level eyes. I tried to do it and honestly, I thought a nerve had snapped in my fucking eye ball. My mums eyes are bulging out of her eye socket and it seriously looks like they are about to explode. It’s scary as fuck!

At least Mum’s explain themselves. A Desi Dad does that intimidating stare. They just walk in and just stand there with their murderous stare. And that shit is intense af and usually they do this because Mum has grassed on us for a shitty thing like, Picking up the dishes and just leaving them in the kitchen without washing them. My mum be like Dekho aap ki Bachi, kuch nahi karti!” I get the Dad stare which has a thousand messages underneath the eyes and just walks off. We just feel like we are the biggest disappointment on earth.


So Mum. I just want to say that your eye language is just some next level shit and if you want to carry on this jargon or dialect, then maybe just… I don’t know; be less obvious because seriously, I can’t tell the difference between you doing death stares or you having some kind of seizure!

I guess you know you’re Desi when your mum controls you with her eyes.


OnceUponAJayJay x


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