Long Hair Problems
I have so many 1st world problems going on in my life and one of those problems includes my long arse hair. I’m Asian so I have that long, thick black hair thing going on, the type that I think looks shiny but really it’s greasy as fuck. I have a love hate relationship with my hair. Sometimes I honestly think I’m blessed, but other times I think I look like Samara off the Ring because it’s so damn LONG and with that comes so much baggage…
1) What even is the point of hair ties?
If you have the thickest and longest hair, then you will have so many encounters with a snapped bobble if it has lasted more than a week then God has personally sent a miracle to you. Because lets be honest the only thing other than hearts we women are going to break, it’s going to be a measly hair tie. I don’t care what companies have to say about their indestructible hair tie. It will break when I use it.
Not to mention it’s very unlikely you will see one hair tie in my hair there will be multiple bobbles overlapping each other to make sure my hair is secure. I use a long hair band to tie my hair and I’m not even joking.
2) Our Pony Tail collapses.
Do you know those people who have long hair and have it in a long cute high pony tail. Well, some of us only wish for that. They look angelic and pretty, but me.. My hair is so long it gets too much. I put it in a high pony tale and not a second goes by, and it just sinks down just like how the Titanic did. The weight is too much that my entire hair just collapses.
3) Hair is everywhere
When I mean everywhere! I freaking mean everywhere!!! In my food, tones on my carpet and places where it shouldn’t be. If I ever collected them in my lifetime, I could make a great wig business.
4) Brushing your hair is a workout.
If you have long hair and you want to gain some arm muscles don’t bother going to the gym just brush your hair. Honestly, I have to split my hair in 2, then start at the bottom and work my way up. Because that’s the only way your hair is getting brushed without it hurting
5) Ugly tangles.
You brush it and 15min its tangled in the most ugly way ever. There’s nothing we can do, but expect to be in great pain when we brush it out later, even though we know it will get tangled again.
6) When all of a sudden you feel something on your arm and panic thinking it’s a spider.
The bad thing about having long hair is sometimes it will move over your arm innocently and you completely shit yourself because you think it’s a spider. Nope, think again. It’s just hair.
7) Top Knot? Naah not happening.
You need a million bobby pins and hair ties just to do a top knot. And, by the time you do that knot you’ll have the worst headache at the end of the day because your hair is so heavy. And once the bun is up there it looks like someone either took a dump or its leaning to one side, but you won’t take it down because you’d rather go to school looking like that than taking out the billion bobby pins to keep it in place.
8) Drying our hair takes the piss.
It takes approximately 3 months to dry. Even with a hairdryer. Forget towel drying because we don’t have a large enough towel to wrap around our mane. So usually we have to dry it in with rest breaks in-between for your arms because other than brushing your hair, washing it and drying it is also a workout.
9) Drains have to be cleared on a regular basis
When my bath water didn’t go down the drain, my Mum had to sort it out. So there she was emptying the drain and surprise surprise its just clunks of my long thick black hair. Of course she thought I had alopecia or I don’t take enough vitamins. But really we shed more hair than a dog.
10) It sticks to everything!
My hair travels on its own. It gets to every nook and cranny. I’m on the bus and it stuck on the ledge of the seat. I’m sitting in school and it somehow gets stuck on those plastic seats. Either it gets stuck on a door or a window or someone is sitting on it. Half the time my conversation with someone starts with. “Errm your sitting on my hair”
11) Sitting On The Toilet
There is always the worry of when we do sit on the toilet our hair will touch the toilet water so it’s in our subconscious mind that we place it on one side of our shoulders. We don’t realise we are doing it because it’s just imprinted on the back of our minds.